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Feb. 12th, 2009


Family Drama

I'm horribly upset about my fiance's family deciding to make a stand and not come to our wedding because they don't approve. I'm much more upset about it than I thought I would be or than it seems she is. As someone who didn't grow up with much religion in her life it seems so strange to see people hurting those they claim to love in the name of it.

It also hurts because they seem to welcome us with open arms and smiles at family events, but refuse to attend our wedding because they feel we're making a mistake. It makes me wonder what kinds of things they say behind our backs. It makes me not want to attend family gatherings, but then we would be turning our backs on the family members who do support us and are attending our wedding. I wish there was a way to just cut off from the ones who are making this stand.

And whats so much more surprising to me than anything else is that since my family has met my fiance I've become so much closer to them. I found that I actually like them and they support me. There had been whisperings of my relationship, but everyone found out last February (I think) the day after my grandfather's funeral when I brought the love of my life to a family gathering. They all welcomed her with truly open arms. They even poked fun at her, which signaled to me that they really accepted her as a part of my life and as a part of our family. My cousins, who I've barely talked to since we were kids, told me that if anyone in the family ever said anything bad about us to come to them and they'd give them a stern talking to. My family members ask after my fiance and they always invite her to things and sometimes even give her gifts. She hates gifts, but its a nice gesture on their part. Two of my aunts got together and bought us a pair of crystal champagne flutes from Tiffany's for xmas.

My family has had one year to come to grips with my sexuality and my relationship and they have been overwhelmingly supportive (although I still haven't seen rsvp cards from my aunts and uncles). My fiance's family has known she is gay for at least 5 years and still they are not supportive, or at least nowhere near as supportive as they pretend to be in person.

Above all, this feels like rejection to me. I don't deal with rejection well. It's not us who is pushing them away for not coming to our wedding. It is them pushing us away by choosing to stand their moral ground and reject us as a healthy, loving couple.

And so when I say I'm stressed out about the wedding, what I mean is that I'm stressed out about the people.

And I know you'll all say that the day is about the two of us and how much we love each other. But it isn't really. We're doing this as a statement. Because if we could do it all legally and no one would care either way we'd probably just go to city hall and then have a big party at a bar (probably Blue Stem) after wards. Yes, the day is about making a commitment, but that commitment has already been made between us. Its about making that commitment in front of other people in hopes that they will support us. And in hopes that they'll stop calling us friends or roommates.

x-posted to my own journal

Aug. 28th, 2008


gay friendly honeymoon destinations

i'm looking for gay friendly honeymoon destinations in the midwest that are easily accessible by public transportation. i've found some great bed and breakfasts, but i don't know how the surrounding towns are. so do any of you know whether the following cities are gay friendly or gay hostile?
- Kalamazoo, MI
- Toledo, OH
- the Wisconsin Dells

Thanks in advance!

Jun. 13th, 2008



TWO free photography offer for same-sex couples!

in addition to bella pictures' offer (link: http://www.bellapictures.com/dayone ), another photographer is offering free wedding pictures to SF bay area same-sex couples marrying june 16th and 17th (link: "http://brunkblog.com/2008/06/12/free-wedding-coverage-on-june-16th-and-17th-at-sf-city-hall/ )

i'm already planning MY same-sex wedding at my UU church for a different date, but i hope someone else will be able to take advantage! :)

(x-posted all over)

Dec. 27th, 2007



Wedding Pro Pics

Beth and I got married on October 20, 2007 in Toronto, Canada. We just got our pro pics, and I loooooove them. Our photographer was Alessandro Garofalo (http://www.alessandrogarofalo.com/) and he was absolutely wonderful. The entire DAY was amazing.

Beware those on dial-up. I'm not kidding!Collapse )

Dec. 1st, 2007


(no subject)

Hello all. I'm new to the community and thought I'd introduce myself.

I'm Lindsey, 24, born and reared in Eastern Iowa. My girlfriend is Ros, 22, originally from Belgium. We met at college, and she thought I was straight. It wasn't until I made the comment "you're not bisexual enough" to a female friend who wanted to join me in going to a gentleman's club that she realized I was interested in women. I've been stuck with her since.

We've been dating for two years now, and just moved in together at the end of July in a beautiful Victorian mansion. Currently, she and I are "promised" to each other; not an official engagement, but that hasn't stopped me from looking around at wedding sites, communities, magazines, and books and dreaming like a little girl. Ros rolls her eyes at the whole thing. She has stated that she's fine with whatever I choose so long as she's not in a dress and I show some cleavage.

Oct. 12th, 2007

Spiral rainbow


(no subject)

All that planning, perfect day, two happily married women.

I just thought I'd take a moment to share with this wonderful community some pictures of our wedding last weekend. It was just beautiful. I really valued having like-minded people to bounce ideas off of here - thank you all so much! I hope your weddings are all as magical and fun as ours was!

Wedding pictures: +10. dialup beware!Collapse )

Oct. 9th, 2007


(no subject)

We got hitched! I'm the one in the white dress: http://picasaweb.google.com/Deacon500/TheWedding?authkey=LZBaBl6rcEE

Oct. 1st, 2007

just you wait!


Women's Formal Attire- Very Questionable....

good lord am i having a hard time finding a nice formal/(in)formal-ish suit/tuxedo for my girlfriend to wear for our wedding. when i searched for "women's tuxedo" all i got were websites for tuxedos as uniforms....eep!- like those tight "formal" hotpants that waitresses wear at slutty cocktail bars....

i think we shall be better off maybe waiting until the spring and summer suits come out and buy her one from the men's collection and have it tailored to fit her. men's suits look better on her anyways... (and oh so hott!)... because yuck. i was thinking like a very crisp, clean looking pair of cream linen pants- formal BUT not too formal- but not so casual that they look like she's just going boating....

why is it always the stuff that you think will be the easiest to find are actually the most impossible? *laughs*

also- i know that she wants to wear a tie- (and i want her too !yum!)- but we are thinking maybe a more "feminine" tie... sort of like what ELLEN wears from time to time... almost like long ascots. they kind of are like a shorter tie- almost like a very tailored, slim scarf... i have NO IDEA where to find those things or even WHAT they'd be called. "ladies ties" just DID NOT work. i'm about to call ELLEN- because i LOVE what she wears and i can TOTALLY see my beloved sporting those outfits.

i need to look elsewhere- JC PENNEY's, DAVID'S BRIDAL and ALFRED ANGELO are just not cutting it.

i'm not even having this much problem and i'm a very particular and fluffy diva....

help? what are you all wearing/did you wear?

Sep. 20th, 2007

Spiral rainbow


(no subject)

Over a year in the planning, our wedding is two weeks away!

I'm experiencing what I assume is the traditional high/low and panic/calm mood swings trying to make sure everything is clean, tidy, prepared, details taken care of, etc. We were expecting about fifty people. NINETY people RSVPed. We've been overwhelmed by the positive response we're getting and while we still feel that just about seventy people will actually show up, the love we're feeling is pretty astounding.

The flowers are ordered, the cake is picked out, the attendants have dresses and flight itineraries, the favors are assembled and gift bags are almost complete, the ceremony is written. I'm so excited! (I'll be terrified in a few hours... and then excited again!)

Things left to do:
Make up a bulletin for the response parts of the ceremony
Assemble gift bags
dye veil and affix crystals (craftiness!)
Pick up the arbor we're being married under (that will be put in our garden afterward)
Clean the house, family is on the way!

Any brides out there with tips for wrapping up your final two weeks? How do you combat the stress and keep celebrating when time is short?

Sep. 14th, 2007

just you wait!


Officiant-y JIve

i am thinking that i would like one of my oldest and dearest friends to officiate our wedding. she is very proficient at public speaking and is extremely eloquent. i am very confident that she would do an amazing job not only performing the ceremony, but helping me write it.

i think it would be the best choice for us since no matter who officiates, and no matter what religion or faith, or wedding isnt "legal" so why not ask her? i really wanted her to be "in" our wedding, but she just isnt bridesmaid material. so, this is an awesome idea- it's her or i'm just going to have to email Ellen Degeneres and ask her.. *laughs*

thinking of her standing there and having such an important role in our wedding gives me the warm fuzzies. *big smiles* now, all i have to do is ask her. i cant even really begin to think about HOW to ask, but it certainly cant be any harder than it was asking my beautiful girlfriend to marry me....

sooOOOOOoooo who performed your weddings? how did you decide this?

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